Today in the big Nooga' the government has blessed us with a tax free holiday. Now for those of you unfamiliar, this is a day generally reserved for back to school. However, the TN gov. having the idea of a spring shopping tax break, instead of paying citizens back for over taxation , hence, causing there to be a huge bankroll (for a state that can't even manage their own "health insurance" issues). It has been declared this weekend a tax free for all. (Clothing, computers and school supplies.)
Now, the husband needed new shoes. One pair for work and one for leisure, (to be pronounced with a long e). I also had some needs that I hoped that this tax holiday could satisfy. Jeans and a swimsuit.
We venture out, off the mountain, 45 miles to the shopping heartbeat of the Nooga. Kohl's,Goodies, and a Target oh my!
Peolpe and clothing abound at our first stop, Kohl's. Levis...$19.99!!!! SWEET, they STRETCH too!!! Bathing suits from elbow to asshole... The jeans did not fit! NONE of them! Bastards. . (I mutter to myself about a possible conspiracy...) Bathing suits... NONE over a size 16!!! Damn it!
I ask husband...got shoes? Yes, he says. Off to our 2nd stop.
Goodies had NOTHING for anyone in a size 20 that I thought my grandmother wouldn't already have hanging in her closet. Quick exit!
Now, I'm holding out for a miricle at the Target. I go in, focused, untouchable. Climbing and clawing my way to the plus size swimsuits. (The jeans have fallen to the wayside at this point.)
I find ONE cute, attractive, and reasonably priced suit. I go to try it on. Motherfucker doesn't fit. Looked like two wild boars doin' the fandango in there!!!! UGGGHHHHH!
So no swimsuits were found at any of these places. However, I did notice a trend. All the tankini bottoms now come with belts. Belts people, really, on a damn bathing suit!!! Perhaps manufactures could save all that extra fabric they used to make said belts on all the suits in Chattanooga and sew me a decent swimsuit that my ass doesn't hang out of. It could be a suit of many colors! Yayyy!
So with all that said, and the conspiracy theory proven, I must inform my dear friends that it was not a tax free holiday for the Ranting. I feel overtaxed and pooped out!
Saturday
Tax Free Holiday....I Call Shenanigans!
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3 comments:
Shit I could have told you that and saved you the trip off of the hump.
When I had my son I gained some weight and I went shopping cause none of my clothes fit.. While searching for clothes.. Nothing fit!! So I slowly walked out of the store.. (I was with my grandmother..I love dearly) I sat on a bench and cryed my eyes out.. Needless to say.. My grandmother used her magic and we went back into the stores and continued to looks for clothes that fit.. I am still not as small as I used to be ..I have noticed that clothing stores I shop at do not make clothes over 11-13 .. And I think that they need to start accommodating larger women..
yeah, they couldn't pay me to get out that day. and if you think about it, unless you get something on sale (which, granted some stores do on tax holiday), you're really only getting about a 10% discount. and 10 times the crowd. and a tenth of the clothing selection, because it's already picked over.
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