Lighten the load....(on my chest).

I am very tired tonight. So forgive me if I ramble. I have some things to get off my chest and well, if you're reading this, then I have an audience.

I know that I generally don't get all talky and shit, but here goes.

I have not spoken to my mother since sometime in July. For me this has been a relatively good decision. Now, I found myself trying to decide if I will make an appearance at Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmother's house. The mother parental will be there. Of course my asshole brother will be there as well.

He is really the main reason, I guess, that I have not spoken to them since summer.

My brother is 10 yrs younger than me. Hey is a punk. Last time I asked, he had lost his...oh 16th job. He dropped outta' school and mooches off my mom. Of course for some reason my mother is under some sort of fucking spell that he was placed on her. I swear, he could set her hair on fire and she would ask why we were pissed of at him.

So enough of the background. My bro ,J, calls my house several times in aug,june,and july to tell me that he ran into this person and that person. Problem is they are all my ex boyfriends. HELLO!!!! Why the FUCK would I care about what they are doing?!?!? There is a reason they are the Ex-s!

The fact that J is just a general fuck pisses myself and my husband off, but now he's calling to tell me that he saw so and so that I use to date. D is not happy about that.

The last time J called it was the same bullshit. I blessed him out and he said some stupid shit like, "can't a nigga' ask a question?!?".

Hello your fucking white!

So I hung up, called the mother of this piece of shit, she hung up on me!!! URGHHHHHHH!

So, I called and left a rather fantastic message on their machine. Grow up people! (I am sure I said fuck at least 4 times in said message).

I guess I got my point across, 'cause aint a soul called. Fuck 'em.

So I will go to D's family stuff. His mother has always loved me no matter what. That's unconditional. No matter if I'm bein' a bitch or not, she still loved me...
Also, I got a pretty good brother outta' the deal to. Thanks R.

Yes, there are lots of things no one knows that happened to me as I was growing up. There are harsh feelings toward my mother for other things, (all of which she would deny) but I don't really want to go into that now.

I do miss my mom.......oh, wait......I only miss the idea of what I wanted my mother to be...