I think that a fuzzy haze has descended upon my life once again. Things are not as they should be. I am out of sorts. That never happens unless alcohol is involved.
Decisions need to be made. These aren't your run of the mill laundry list details. These are life changing decisions I am going to eventually have to make.
I have found that happiness can not be achieved by projecting your wants and needs onto another person. I am responsible for my own happiness. Me...that's it.
It's frightening really to think about how I have just floated along the river of life. Choices I've made have shaped this river, but those were only slivers and crescent curves in the water of life. I fear that not only will this produce rampant rapids, the river may actually dry up all together.
I have not been myself for some time. I think it is time that I find out who I really am. I know the old me is still there beneath all this baggage and misery that I have heaped upon myself. Deep down, she's still there. Barely breathing and unable to see the light of day. She is still there.
I just have to find a way to coax her out from hiding. To retrieve her life, grasping it with both hands and swearing to never let her go again. Ever. No matter who walks through the door.
Pain is a funny thing. Which is odd that I say that, because pain is not fun... It, however, is a fact of life. Just as so many things are facts in this life of mine. Facts that I have denied for several years. Always hoping that I could love enough to erase all the bad.
Love is blind. Unfortunately, there is one thing love can't hide....hurt.
Friday
Missing
Sunday
Pushing my buttons
Monday
Hair Of The Dog & The Day After
Hangovers seem to be the body’s way of reminding us about the hazards of overindulgence. Physiologically, it’s a group effort: Diarrhea, fatigue, headache, nausea, and shaking are the classic symptoms. Sometimes, systolic (the upper number) blood pressure goes up, the heart beats faster than normal, and sweat glands overproduce — evidence that the “fight or flight” response is revved up. Some people become sensitive to light or sound. Others suffer a spinning sensation (vertigo).
The causes are as varied as the symptoms. Alcohol is metabolized into acetaldehyde, a substance that’s toxic at high levels, although concentrations rarely get that high, so that’s not the complete explanation.
Drinking interferes with brain activity during sleep, so a hangover may be a form of sleep deprivation. Alcohol scrambles the hormones that regulate our biological clocks, which may be why a hangover can feel like jet lag, and vice versa. Alcohol can also trigger migraines, so some people may think they’re hung over when it’s really an alcohol-induced migraine they’re suffering.
Hangovers begin after blood alcohol levels start to fall. In fact, according to some experts, the worst symptoms occur when levels reach zero.
The key ingredient seems to be “drinking to intoxication”; how much you drank to get there is less important. In fact, several studies suggest that light and moderate drinkers are more vulnerable to getting a hangover than heavy drinkers. Yet there’s also seemingly contradictory research showing that people with a family history of alcoholism have worse hangovers. Researchers say some people may end up with drinking problems because they drink in an effort to relieve hangover symptoms.
Dr. Robert Swift, a researcher at the Providence Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Rhode Island, coauthored one of the few review papers on hangovers in 1998. It’s still one of the most frequently cited sources on the topic. The rundown on hangover remedies that follows is based on that review, an interview with Dr. Swift, and several other sources.
Hair of the dog.
Drinking to ease the symptoms of a hangover is sometimes called taking the hair of the dog, or hair of the dog that bit you. The notion is that hangovers are a form of alcohol withdrawal, so a drink or two will ease the withdrawal.
There may be something to it, says Dr. Swift. Both alcohol and short-acting sedatives, such as benzodiazepines like diazepam (Valium), interact with GABA receptors on brain cells, he explained, and it’s well documented that some people have withdrawal symptoms from short-acting sedatives as they wear off. Perhaps the brain reacts similarly as blood alcohol levels begin to drop.
Even so, Dr. Swift advises against using alcohol as a hangover remedy. “The hair of the dog just perpetuates a cycle,” he says. “It doesn’t allow you to recover.”
Drink fluids.
Alcohol promotes urination because it inhibits the release of vasopressin, a hormone that decreases the volume of urine made by the kidneys. If your hangover includes diarrhea, sweating, or vomiting, you may be even more dehydrated. Although nausea can make it difficult to get anything down, even just a few sips of water might help your hangover.
Get some carbohydrates into your system.
Drinking may lower blood sugar levels, so theoretically some of the fatigue and headaches of a hangover may be from a brain working without enough of its main fuel. Moreover, many people forget to eat when they drink, further lowering their blood sugar. Toast and juice is a way to gently nudge levels back to normal.
Thanks to msn.
Sunday
Too Much
Last night we went out with some of our friends. We met these people because we share a common interest. Corvettes. 
Now I must admit that I was not keen on the purchase of The Vette when my husband decided to do so. Now I think I have completely changed my tune.
"Why?", you ask. Well, I can give you some good reasons. Keith, RT & Sarah. They are a great bunch of people. If you are ever curious, check us out at Scenic Vettes.
Yay for me!
Sometimes it is good to have too much. Too many cars, too many friends, and too much to drink!
Friday
Saturday
"What day is it?"....
The last 4 to 5 days have pretty much been a blur for me. There are several reasons for this.
Apparently one should not swallow enormous amounts of highly chlorinated H2O. "Why Ranting?", you ask. Well general audience, it will not only go into your stomach but also into your lungs if you are unlucky.
Now, the way this happens is you are in 12' water, YMCA safety device is wrapped around you (this is policy for any class taught in deep water) as tight as possible, without making you loose your lunch into said water. The cursed noodle is being used. Crunches in water are being done by yourself and the rest of the class. The damn noodle is trying to wiggle it's way out from behind you. This noodle does not care if you are tired or not. You still must fight to stay on top. Do not let the noodle win. Superiority is a must!
Well, my noodle won.
As I plunged my butt towards the bottom of the pool, working my abs ever so hard, the noodle jumped out from under me, flying into the air. Now, as this happens I push back to take a deep breath of air, but all I get is water.
Thank you YMCA for making me wear that damn safety belt. It kept me from making a complete fool of myself and actually drowning.
The outcome of this is days of being sick with a respiratory infection. I had to pay $50.00 for 5 pills. FIVE PILLS PEOPLE! Now for those who are not math geniuses, that's TEN dollars per pill!!!!
Ugggghhhhh.....
Today I awaken out of my Nite Time Elixir daze.
By the way, psuedoephedra is a great thing in cold medicine. It's too bad the meth heads can't keep there hands off of it. I had some old stuff left and then had to buy some new. The old stuff was soooo much better.
I find myself sitting here by myself. The hubby is in Mississippi visiting family.
I have a party to got to tonight, but I fear I will not be in full gear to entertain people as I normally do.
Monday
Rock & Roll Ain't Noise Pollution
I submit this video for your entertainment. There are 2 reasons I thought this would be interesting.
#1 I was driving home today, and heard on the radio that there is a true air guitar t-shirt in the works. Yes, that's right, a t-shirt that emits the sounds of thrashing while the wearer plays air guitar.
#2 It's air guitar dude!
So I googled said t-shirt, and alas, no luck. Awesome idea though.
Instead, I give you the air guitar champion!
Party On!
Back Breakin' & Ball Bustin'
Today was a kinnda quick day. I worked and worked and worked and then, it was over! WooooHOO! Only four more to go people.
We did lots of yard work this weekend and it about wore me out. I discovered something though. I like to mow with the riding lawnmower. I have never in 28 years mowed on a riding lawnmower. I did not want to have to deal with gears and crap and just left it up to my husband. I would always weed-eat and push mow a small patch that the riding mower couldn't get at.
This weekend I was so tired after weed-eating almost the entire yard, that I asked the hubby to trade. IT'S GREAT!
I don't know why the hell the husband acts like it's the hardest thing in the world, It's not. Silly me!
Guess who will be using the weed-eater next time?!?!